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Something horrible happened that never should have happened. You oscillate between actively avoiding thinking about it and blaming yourself, even though you know it’s not your fault. You used to be better at avoiding it, but recently the details of the incident are flooding your mind day and night; memories which were once contained are now spilling over. You’re feeling disconnected from yourself and others, even though most people around you think you are fine. Despite your outward success, you feel that you could collapse into a million pieces at any moment and that this is exhausting.

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