Family Court in Washington: What Survivors Need to Know ("191 Restrictions" & Abusive Litigation)
Washington State has some of the most progressive laws in the country for protecting survivors, but the system uses unique terminology that can be confusing. You won't hear "custody" or "visitation" here. Instead, everything revolves around the Parenting Plan.
Crucially, Washington has a specific law (RCW 26.51) that protects you from "Abusive Litigation"—when an abuser uses the court system itself to harass you.1
1. New Terminology: "Custody" is Gone
Washington law replaced "custody" with concept-based terms to lower conflict.
Parenting Plan: The master document that outlines where the child sleeps and how decisions are made.
Residential Schedule: Where the child lives (formerly "physical custody").
Decision-Making Authority: Who decides on school, healthcare, and religion (formerly "legal custody").
"191 Restrictions": This is the most important term for you. It refers to RCW 26.09.191, a statute that mandates the court to limit a parent's time and decision-making power if there is a history of domestic violence.2
2. "191 Restrictions" (The Safety Statute)3
If you prove a history of domestic violence, the court must apply restrictions under RCW 26.09.191.4
Mandatory Limits: The court cannot order mutual decision-making (joint custody) if there is a finding of domestic violence.5
Residential Limits: The court can order that the abuser's time be supervised, limit where visits happen, or suspend visits entirely.6
How to get them: When you fill out your proposed Parenting Plan (Pattern Form FL All Family 140), you must check the box for "Limitations on Parenting" and reference the 191 factors.
3. Protection from "Abusive Litigation" (RCW 26.51)
Washington is one of the few states with a specific law to stop abusers from filing frivolous motions to drag you back to court repeatedly.7
What it is: If your partner files motions to harass you, delay proceedings, or deplete your finances, you can ask for an Order Restricting Abusive Litigation.8
The Remedy: If granted, the abuser is barred from filing any new motions or cases against you for up to 5 years unless a judge reviews them first and gives permission.
4. Civil Protection Orders (CPO) & "Hope Cards"9
Washington overhauled its protection order laws (RCW 7.105) recently.10
Consolidated System: You can file for a Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) online in most counties.11
Coercive Control: The definition of domestic violence now explicitly includes "coercive control" (isolating you, controlling finances, monitoring movements).12
Hope Cards: If you get a full protection order, you can request a "Hope Card"—a laminated, wallet-sized card that summarizes the order.13 It is easier to show to police or schools than carrying the full paper court order.
5. Mandatory Mediation (ADR) & Waivers
Most Washington counties (like King, Pierce, Snohomish) require Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) or mediation before trial.
The Risk: Mediation requires negotiating with your abuser.
The Waiver: You are exempt from mandatory mediation if it would be unsafe or if the power imbalance is too great.
Action Item: You must file a "Motion to Waive ADR" regarding domestic violence.14 Do not just skip mediation; you need the judge to sign the waiver, or you could be fined.
6. Relocation: The Notice Requirement
The Rule (RCW 26.09.430): You must give 60 days' notice to the other parent before moving the child outside the current school district.15
The Trap: If you move without notice, the court can order the child returned immediately.16
Safety Exception: If you are moving to a shelter or fleeing immediate danger, you can delay notice for 21 days. Additionally, you can file a request to waive notice entirely or keep your address confidential if disclosing it would endanger you.17
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q1: Do I have to use specific forms?
Yes. Washington uses mandatory "Pattern Forms" (WPF).18 You must use these exact forms. You can find them on the Washington Courts website or Washington LawHelp. Look for the "FL All Family" series.
Q2: Can I record my spouse to prove abuse?
STOP. Washington is a strict "Two-Party Consent" state. It is a crime (Gross Misdemeanor) to record a private conversation without everyone's permission. Do not rely on secret audio recordings in family court; they will be inadmissible and could get you in trouble. Video without audio (like security cam footage) is generally okay.
Q3: Does the child get to decide where they live?
No. There is no specific age where a child decides. The court may consider the wishes of an older child, but it is not binding. A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) may be appointed to interview the child and report to the judge.19
Q4: Can I keep my address secret?
Yes. Washington has an Address Confidentiality Program (ACP).20 If you enroll, you get a substitute address in Olympia to use for your driver's license, voting, and court records.
Q5: What if I can't afford a lawyer?
Washington LawHelp (Northwest Justice Project) provides excellent "do-it-yourself" packets. In some counties, there are Family Law Facilitators at the courthouse who can review your forms for a small fee (around $20-$50) to make sure they are filled out correctly before you file.
Q6: What is a "Sexual Assault Protection Order" (SAPO)?
If the abuse involved sexual violence (even by a spouse), you can file for a SAPO.21 This is sometimes easier to get than a DVPO because it focuses on a single incident of non-consensual sexual conduct rather than a "pattern" of domestic violence relationship issues.
References & Resources
Washington LawHelp: washingtonlawhelp.org (The best source for free forms and instructions).
WA State Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-562-6025.
Address Confidentiality Program (ACP): 1-800-822-1065.
Northwest Justice Project: CLEAR Hotline (1-888-201-1014) for legal aid screening.22
Legislation: RCW 26.09.191 (Restrictions), RCW 26.51 (Abusive Litigation).