What Family Violence Means and How to Get Help Safely

# What this resource is about The Government of Canada’s **“What is family violence”** page explains that family violence can happen in many forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, and neglectful abuse. It also recognizes that family violence can affect people of any age, gender, culture, income level, or family structure. For someone seeking help, this matters because clear information can make it easier to name what is happening, understand that abuse is not your fault, and take the next step at a pace that feels safer. ## Why this matters for people in unsafe or stressful situations When abuse is happening, it can be hard to trust your own judgment. You may be told that the harm is “not that bad,” that it is your fault, or that no one will believe you. A resource like this can help by: - validating that abuse can take many forms, not only physical violence - helping you recognize patterns of control, fear, and harm - reminding you that children, older adults, and dependent adults can also be affected - supporting safer conversations with advocates, health providers, or trusted people If reading about family violence feels overwhelming, you do not have to finish everything at once. You can pause, save the page, or ask someone you trust to read it with you. ## Who may be impacted Family violence can affect: - intimate partners and ex-partners - children and youth - older adults - people with disabilities or chronic illness - newcomers, refugees, and people with uncertain immigration status - Indigenous, Black, racialized, and 2SLGBTQ+ people who may face additional barriers to support - people who depend on others for housing, money, transportation, or care You may be impacted even if the abuse is not constant. A single incident, repeated threats, coercive control, stalking, isolation, or financial restriction can still be serious. ## Signs that what you are experiencing may be family violence You do not need to prove every detail before reaching out. Some signs include: - being scared of a partner, family member, or caregiver - being insulted, humiliated, monitored, or threatened - being prevented from seeing friends, family, work, school, or community - having money, medication, documents, or devices controlled by someone else - being pushed, hit, restrained, sexually pressured, or forced - being blamed for another person’s anger or violence - feeling like you must constantly “walk on eggshells” - noticing a child is frightened, withdrawn, aggressive, or trying to protect others If you are unsure, it is okay to say: “I think something is wrong, and I need help figuring it out.” ## Practical steps you can take now ### 1) Check immediate safety first If you are in immediate danger, call emergency services now if you can do so safely. If calling is not safe, try to move to a safer room, a neighbor’s home, a public place, or another location with other people nearby. ### 2) Use a safer device if possible An abusive person may monitor phones, email, location sharing, or browser history. If you can: - use a trusted device - clear your browser history or use private browsing - turn off location sharing - change passwords from a safe device - avoid saving sensitive contacts under obvious names ### 3) Reach out to a domestic violence or family violence service An advocate can help you think through options without pressuring you to leave before you are ready. You can ask about: - safety planning - emergency shelter or transitional housing - legal information and protection orders - counseling and trauma support - child protection concerns - financial and immigration-related referrals ### 4) Gather only what you can safely gather If it is safe, keep copies of important items such as: - identification documents - health cards, prescriptions, and medication lists - bank information and benefit records - children’s documents - keys, phone charger, and a small amount of cash - evidence of abuse, if you choose to keep it Do not risk your safety to collect items. Your safety matters more than paperwork. ### 5) Make a simple exit or emergency plan A plan can be very small. For example: - one trusted person to call or text - one place you could go - one code word that means “call for help” - one bag stored somewhere safe if possible - one plan for children, pets, or dependents ### 6) If children are involved, focus on safety and support Children do not need to understand everything to be affected. If you are worried about a child’s safety, a family violence service, pediatrician, school counselor, or child protection line in your area may help you understand options. ## Where to seek help Because services vary by location, start with the safest option available to you: - **Emergency services** if there is immediate danger - **Local domestic violence shelters or hotlines** for safety planning and crisis support - **Healthcare providers** for injuries, documentation, and referrals - **Legal aid or family law services** for protection orders, custody, and housing questions - **Community organizations** serving newcomers, Indigenous communities, disability communities, or LGBTQ+ survivors - **Trusted friends, neighbors, faith leaders, or coworkers** who can help you make a plan If you are in Canada, the federal family violence resource can be a starting point for understanding the issue and finding related supports in your province or territory. ## Safety reminders - You do not have to decide everything today. - Leaving can be the most dangerous time in some abusive situations; planning matters. - If someone is monitoring you, be careful with calls, texts, emails, and shared devices. - If you are not ready to leave, you still deserve support. - If you have already left, it is still okay to ask for help with housing, legal issues, trauma, and safety. ## Uncertainties and limits of this resource This government page is a general information resource, not a personalized safety plan or legal advice. It may not cover every situation, and local laws, services, and eligibility rules can differ by province, territory, or community. If you are unsure what applies to you, a local advocate or legal clinic can help you sort through your options in a more specific way. ## A gentle reminder If this topic is bringing up fear, shame, confusion, or memories, that reaction makes sense. Abuse can make it hard to think clearly, and you do not need to have perfect words to deserve support. You can start with one sentence: > “I think I may be experiencing family violence, and I need help staying safe.” That is enough to begin.